Saturday, March 12, 2011

Trouble in Farmville

 A group of toys live across the street from the Toy Story toys' house.  They are owned by a teenage boy who is still a virgin.  The boy discovers that his toys are alive and convinces them to help him get laid.  He even threatens to give his Wii Asian Man with Afro Avatar to his kid sister if he doesn't go along.  One of his toys is a Farmville family that traverses the Internet to help, including hacking the Pentagon and getting to know a flash stripper ad.  A GI Joe doll with post-war-stress-syndrome is in love with the boy's sister's Bratz doll who has the hots for Woody.  All day long it's "Woody" this and "Woody" that.

Scene: GI Joe finally gets it up.  He calls to the Bratz doll "Check it out babe.  I've got a..."  The Bratz doll beams and sez "Woody".

Scene: GI Joe recounts the epic battle in the sand box against dinosaurs, super heroes and a Barbie that has razor blades for breasts.  At one point in the story he turns his back to the other toys, drops his pants to show a horribly scorched butt.  "Jimmy Groglio shoved a lit firecracker up my ass".  "The horror.  The horror."

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